What cocktail are you?

Waterslide Bar at Southgate has recently launched a revolutionary new cocktail menu that matches cocktails to a host of identities one might meet at the bar.

The Inaugural Guide to Bar Patrons provides a detailed list of 20 cocktails that each possesses ingredients that are individually tailored to their namesakes.

General managers Liam Watt and Dan Green have spent the last five months carefully devising the menu, which caters to all from “The Suit” and “The Social Smoker” to the “The Backpacker” and “The Fitzroy Hipster”.

“They’re the kind of people that we deal with every single day and that most punters don’t understand,” Dan said.

“We profile people that come in and go: I bet they’re on a first date, I bet he’s just had a big win at the office or they’re going off to the theatre!”

“None of it is meant to be taken seriously. It’s all a bit of tongue in cheek. The great thing about the menu though is that everyone will know someone in it.”

The list comprises only the best ingredients available to cater to the palates of all of its listed identities.

They include goji berries for “The Hens Night”, Hennessy VSOP for “The Baller”, Laphroaig 10 and Green Chartreuse for “The Bar Nerd” and even vegan ginger beer for “The Vegan”.

With 20 years of bartending experience between them in both Australian and overseas bars, Liam and Dan said the list was a truly unique concept.

However, Liam said that while its drinks were “100 per cent serious”, it had been designed with the key intention of having a laugh with all of its patrons.

“It’s been a lot of fun writing it,” Liam said. “It takes its toll on you as well when you’re testing them but we’re really proud of it!

Every drink is really thought out and engineered.” “We came up with the story first and then we created a drink around that so everything you’re making has got a constraint around it, which I think is actually an awesome way to do it.”

And while cocktail lists comprising anything beyond classics such as espresso martinis or mojitos can often pose a challenge to many, the menu has even got a flavour map to help patrons find something sweet, weak, strong or sour.

Pulling out all the stops from liquid nitrogen to making foams, Waterslide’s heavily trained bar staff use every culinary technique imaginable to provide a premium quality, yet very approachable cocktail menu.

However, if cocktails aren’t your thing, Waterslide has something for everyone.

It also offers a wonderful selection of wines, beers and spirits as well as an impressive selection of 120 single malt whiskeys.

Located on what was formerly the site of Wirth’s Circus, the venue literally was once home to a waterslide!

It pays homage to its past with a series of historic photographs showing how Southbank once was.

Now open until 1am from Tuesdays through to Saturdays, the venue provides an ideal location on the river for a local, post-work or celebratory drink.

And just quietly, it’s two cocktails for the price of one on Tuesdays!

“We’ve got such a local following now it’s because we are ourselves and we chat to a lot of people and that’s what we think we actually do best,” Liam said.

“I think this cocktail list for us is really a way to bridge that gap of when they pick it up and actually read it from start to finish and have a bit of a laugh.”

Waterslide is located at mid-level Southgate next door to La Camera. For more information visit waterslidebar.com.au