Kindness: a natural antidote

By Rajna Bogdanovic - Clinical Psychologist  There has never been another time in most of our lives where so many people are relying on one another – family and friends, as well as strangers. Communities have galvanised to help neighbours with shopping, prescriptions, even dog walking. And as we approach the holiday season, knowing that so many people will be without loved ones due to travel restrictions as a result of COVID-19, kindness towards one another is more important than ever. If you’re in a position to do so, lend a hand — not because you expect something in return, but because you know people need it. Even the smallest gestures go a long way. The benefits of kindness It’s a win-win. Studies show that doing acts of kindness not only helps the recipient but also increase the givers levels of happiness, life and even job satisfaction, as well as decreases depression. It can increase energy. Studies show that people feel stronger and more energised, less depressed, have increased feelings of self-worth and increased mental flexibility after helping others. It can increase “the love hormone”. Witnessing acts of kindness produces oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone” which aids in lowering blood pressure and improving our overall heart health. Oxytocin also increases our self-esteem and optimism, which is very helpful when we’re in anxious. It can fire up the brain’s “reward centre”. Research has shown that when you are kind to another person, your brain’s pleasure and reward centres light up, as if you were the recipient of the good deed—not the giver. This phenomenon is called the “helper’s high.” It can reduce your stress levels. Helping others takes you out of your own mind and can potentially help to build relationships with other people. Anything that helps you to build bonds with other people is known as “affiliative behaviour” which may be an important component of coping with stress. So what simple acts of kindness can you do every day? Acknowledge your neighbour as you walk past them – better yet, strike up a conversation! Hold the door open for someone. Smile (or better yet – have a chat!) to your local barista when getting your morning coffee. Call up your local volunteer organisation and see if you can support in any way. Find out if there are any people in your network who will be alone for Christmas and offer to call them over the holiday season. Give goods you no longer need to your local charity shop. Pay it forward: Buy a cup of coffee for the next person that comes in to the coffee shop after you. Help someone with their groceries. The ripple effects of kindness Kindness is teachable. Like reading or maths, kindness is a skill that you can cultivate. Studies show that, with training and practice, you can actually strengthen your compassion muscles and improve your “kindness fitness.” Kindness is contagious. The positive effects of kindness are experienced in the brain of everyone who witnessed the act, improving their mood and making them significantly more likely to “pay it forward.” This means one good deed in a crowded area can create a domino effect and improve the day of dozens of people •