Christmas presence

A friend once told me that presence, or “turning up”, is the key to effective parenting. Presence is, in fact, the key to any good and thriving human relationship.

When we are genuinely present with other people, we step away from ourselves and are open and receptive to them. There we are woven into their lives.

Being present draws on our empathic, patient and attentive skills by being open to human and other natural worlds outside of ourselves. Being present gives priority to the place, needs and the flourishing of other people, creatures, and landscapes ahead of our own.

It’s what, for example, I have seen good educators, health care workers, primary producers and other caring people do. They turn up, without demands, for the lives of others. 

“Turning up” and being present can mean putting our other priorities and desires (and devices) aside. It might ask us to make sacrifices, to “step away” from the things which we feel that we want or deserve. It can even ask us to participate in things that we don’t always enjoy, such as pushing the swing one more time, and one more time after that.

We thrive when we are fully present with and for others, and they thrive too. Being present constructs and offers meaning, and it nourishes identity and relationships in ways that grow beyond the loss of our momentary desires.

Within the Christian tradition, Christmas celebrates God’s presence with people beginning with Jesus’ birth. The name “Immanuel” is sometimes used for Jesus. It means, “God with us”.

Through Jesus’ birth, God turned up to be present, fully present with people. Today, people who trust in Jesus and his teachings believe that God remains fully present with them, not to make demands but to give and work at ways of life that make them whole.

Through Jesus, God gives up everything to be present with people, and to work with them at what is good. 

As Christmas preparations “amp” up in our neighborhoods and shopping strips, we are greeted by bright images and lights, by familiar sounds and rich cinnamon smells. With that excitement comes an increasing pressure to please.

How will we make this a good Christmas? Maybe by listening to my friend’s advice to me. Risk a little vulnerability and “turn up”. Your attentive presence is more valuable and lasting than your presents.

I encourage you to check in on your local church communities over Christmas. Those communities are focused on celebrating and enacting God’s good presence with people. Turn up. Your presence means a lot. •